Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Tash's avatar

Your post reminded me of the Existentialist concept of 'being-for-others'. An individual alone might experience themselves as free and independent and choosing their own path freely, as the centre of their own world - its central subject. But as soon as another person appears, that other person's gaze has a profound effect on the individual. Rather than being the subject and central figure in their own world, they have the sense of being an object in the other person's world, subject to that person's opinions and judgement. They are decentralised and experience a feeling of helplessness. Their freedom has disappeared as they contend with being an unfree object in the other's world view. This is the experience of being-for-others.

I suppose that one-to-one engagement you refer to could be considered a sort of 'lo-fi' being-for-others. Maybe we are being judged, but the other person probably knows a bit about us, our upbringing, the town we're from, our family, our education, our cultural background, etc. We are not judged in a vacuum. There is space for love and understanding.

Whereas, in the digital age, where we are presenting (or exposing) ourselves to a massive online world of others, whose digital gaze rests on us for a moment, this is being-for-others on steroids. I wonder what that means for us and our sense of self and the way we engage or connect with others.

Expand full comment
Justine Beaudoin's avatar

It has been my experience for quite a while now that people, particularly young people, often don’t look at me or others they are interacting with. This happens in stores and at gas stations, for instance. There is something creepy and uncanny about it. It doesn’t feel like they’re being intentionally rude, but rather that they are afraid to look at people. I am worried by them and for them.

Expand full comment
5 more comments...

No posts